Reactivity vs Response
I’ve recently had the opportunity (and the wisdom for once) to take a leaf out of one of my very gracious client’s books, regarding reacting vs responding to life’s circumstances. It was a humbling experience to say the least. “If I could just stop myself and respond rather than react – things would really be much better all round – for myself and my friends and family.” Right on the money Lovely! But what is it exactly that make us so reactive and more likely to explode at circumstances, family members, friends and life in general? How many times have you found yourself yelling at your kids, stonewalling your partner or slamming the bedroom door when what you should really be doing is counting to ten, taking a deep breath to centre yourself – opening your ears (and most importantly your heart) and really hearing what the other person has to say – whether we like it or not? I’m sure we are all in agreement that other people – our children in particular – have a knack of pushing our buttons to really show us the inner work we need to focus on. But how are we ever to change if we can’t stop reacting rather than responding?
Working with clients who recognise that they are the ones responsible for their reactions and no one can “make them” behave in any particular way is such a joy! I am constantly reminded of my own inner work and similar situations that possibly could have turned out a little more favourably!! That said, there are many ways to work with WHY you are responding in this way. Often it turns out that a clients “trigger” is something from their own childhood or an incident that happened in the earliest part of their careers for example. A cranky boss, a childhood bully – these are all a part of life’s story that can sometimes have a much more profound effect on us than we previously thought. Often times these deeply buried memories are the root cause of much of our behaviour regardless of whether we think we are “over it” or not.
The beauty of the subconscious mind is that it is designed to protect us – therefore any situation that may remind us of an incident in the past that could have possibly caused us harm or made us feel a certain way – does quite literally come back “to haunt us” each and every time we are presented with anything that looks or feels or sounds like the original trauma or incident. And thus we are transported back to that time – without knowing it – responding in much the same way we did then (or wished we did) – but this time it’s with the wrong person and/or circumstance. You are no longer an emotionally immature 21 year old or a 5 year old being shamed in front of the entire class for not doing his reading homework. This is why our explosive reaction to our teenager arriving five minutes late to dinner is not necessarily about their tardiness, but more about our father’s reaction to our own performance at school and never quite living up to his expectations.
With kinesiology we can very gently work towards a desired outcome, shifting the “old” patterns and responses and putting strategies in place to help us respond in a way that helps us to override that knee-jerk reaction.
This is one way that kinesiology can assist in helping a client to make the necessary changes in order to move towards what they want – as opposed to what they don’t want!
Setting up a goal and working with a desired outcome is so powerful. Yes – recognise old patterns, thank them for the lesson and then let them go through a series of powerful techniques involving eye patterns, affirmations and tapping can shift things very dramatically.
Planning for the inevitable. Do the work and the “test” will follow. We do find that strategising and often times “role playing” is very powerful in creating the “desired outcome”. Client’s often find they feel lighter and much more energised when thinking about the issue and now better equiped with a plan of action or should I say “a plan of response” is a great way to heal the dynamic that has been happening.
Remember – healing yourself first and doing the work not only changes your vibration but it has a ripple effect. So many of my clients report to having a very different experience once they took their boxing gloves off and really heard what was being said.
Kim is a Kinesiologist and it means the world to be growing with her clients and seeing their dreams and goals become a reality. Shifting, healing old wounds and letting go is more important than ever for global health – for our children and our children’s children. “Healing is the end of conflict with yourself.” Stephanie Gailing
Book now: www.nbip.com.au P: 02 8406 0679